emfawn's profile - StumbleUpon

Last login: 7 weeks agoEmfawn: Ember is a 20 year old woman from Friendship, Maine, USA.; Likes 395 pages, 3 videos, 18 photos • 15 fans • Received 1 review; Member since Mar 09, 2008

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: Stress. It's my newfound defeatest attitude in combination with my pile-up of sick/makeup work. It's a person that I don't even want to talk about who should be the only person I want to talk about. It's me wondering if i'm going to be good at what I do in the future, if I'm going to be a good mom, a good wife etc. It's knowing that as much as I pretend that I don't care about this, I actually do.
When I went to the hospital to get all those blood tests to find out why i'm sick, the first thing they asked me was if I was stressed, and without any thought, I gave the answer i've given all my life; a perky "no!" with undertones of "I'm just fine" and "I should be the last person you'd ever worry about." It wasn't until the needle pricked the soft spot on my arm that I realized I really am extremely stressed. I've always thought I was one of the lucky ones who just never felt pressure and let it effect me. Now i'm starting to realize that it's not a choice, and i'm going to have to confront it, throw my whole body into it.... head first. For me, being that i've never had to deal with this before, it's like kneeling on the edge of the grand canyon, seeing the distance to the bottom and knowing you need to get there. Sometimes the feeling before you jump is even worse than the landing.